| Rick Waz Here |
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| 07:17pm 24/05/2005 |
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music: bunch f evil squirrels laughing
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oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeea
Rick Waz Here |
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| 05:30pm 11/05/2005 |
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Turns out I have basically a clean bill of dental health. On the other hand, it doesn't seem that my mother has such good luck. Mike's dad is being weird not letting him go to the dentist because my mom said that'd she pick him up. I wanted him to get here a lil before my mom got out of the dentist because it just would've made everything a little easier because then we'd be able to go to the fucking store to get out costumes a lot faster and be able to get everythig done with a whole lot faster too because I'm fucking tired.
But no, his dad is being weird and not letting him walk here. Oh well, I guess i shouldn't be complaining since his parents are letting him skip school on the 16th to helpme with my walter mitty preformance. So yes, I'lln just shut up. And now I feel bad because when Michael said I love you to me, I didn't say anything back. I know that's very cold of me. I'm just kinda sick of excuses with his family- Though Michael lately hasbeen pulling through with everything one way or another... But god, my mom's going to be a bitch when she comes out of that dentists office and I thought it wouldjust make it all easier on the world if Mike was here. Grr..
Anyway- end of rant because now I feel stupid and don't want to rant anymore and I feel guitly because yeah.. Didn't say I love you back to Michael..
[[EDIT:// I'm annoyed coz waiting for my mom is boring.]] |
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| 11:56am 08/05/2005 |
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The Keys to Your Heart
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You are attracted to those who have a split personality - cold as ice on the outside but hot as fire in the heart. |
In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored. |
You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change. |
You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please. |
Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets. |
Your risk of cheating is low. You'd never attempt. |
You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. |
In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted. |
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| stole from Aly |
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| 12:13pm 29/04/2005 |
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We all have things about our friends that make us slightly envious. Not in a bad way, but in a "Wow! I wish I had that person's hair, eyes, money, relationship, toe nails whatever."
So tell me what about me makes you envy me, then post this in your LJ and see what makes me envious of you.
If you like, you can post anonymously. |
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| 09:19pm 21/04/2005 |
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This goes out to everyone. You wanna fucking say shit but not say it right go ahead, but I'll find out! I know of one person who already did this and didn't have their facts straight.
If provoked, I won't just sit and take it. And you know what- I think I know who it is, so it's easy enough to fucking delete you off my friends list. One Two Click! Simple as that. Try anothing fucking stunt, why don't you. I've trusted you to an extent, but I knew something like this was going to happen.
People who are fucking ruled out (I know they didn't do it!)
Mike. Tasha. Lauren. Rick. Jackie. Online friends. Amanda. Natty.
I have a hint on you- Don't think I don't. |
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| 08:30pm 10/04/2005 |
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mood:  pissed off music: kjfgcjhgdfrjsdafjhfsahfjhfgj WHO FUCKING CARES
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Look, I'm me! If you don't like me for who I am, then fuck you. I'm sick of always being treated badly.
Yeah, I make mistakes, so what? Everyone does. Everyone can't be prefect. And I wish some people would understand that. If you don't like me because I wear a certain color, wear my make up differently, don't do drugs, because I'm honest, because I'm off-beat, or because I'm just not who you want me to be, FINE. But don't be lying about me saying I'm not doing my job correctly. Because I was you fucking bastard of a boss. I'm sick of trying to please you.
And this goes out to everyone else too! I'm fucking sick of you people judging me and saying I don't do everything perfectly. If you want it done perfectly, less see you fucking try. I do my best, end of story. If my best isn't up to your standers then do it your fucking self. Simple as that...
.a.n.d. .w.i.t.h. .t.h.i.s. .g.o.o.d.b.y.e. .I. .s.l.i.t.. m.y. .w.r.i.s.t.s. .o.n.e. .l.a.s.t. .t.i.m.e . |
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| 06:09pm 05/04/2005 |
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mood:  ecstatic music: AC/DC~Beating Around The Bush
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^_^ this makes me happy. |
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| 02:52pm 03/04/2005 |
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at this very minute
someone is thinking of you
someone cares about you.
someone misses you
someone wants to hold your hand.
someone wants you to be happy.
someone wants to hug you.
someone will do anything for you.
someone needs to know your love is unconditional.
someone wants to tell you how much they care.
someone wants to stay up watching movies w/ you.
someone wants to hold you in their arms.
someone wants to see you.
someone wants to be your lover.
someone loves you for who you are.
someone loves the way you make them feel.
someone wants to be with you.
someone wants you to know they are there for you.
someone is glad that you're their friend.
someone is wishing you would notice them.
someone wants to get to know you better.
someone loves you.
repost this if you are thinking of a SOMEONE at this very minute |
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| .....For All |
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| 08:38pm 20/03/2005 |
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mood:  depressed music: Silence.
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Dear LJ friends, close friends, and readers,
I am unhappy. I truely hate myself and have no idea how to start liking myself. I feel like this great big world is out to get me; and it has been since I was very young. My hopes and dreams, are being shattered slowly by the life I have been given, as if I'm some kind of joke you see on tv. Sometimes I wish my life was on tv, I think it would make for a very interesting show. People would never get bored and I can say, "Hell-- It's just a show, it's not real" But it is real. And it hurts so much to wake up in the mornings.. To get out of bed and do something with myself for that day.
I don't wish to get up anymore. I wish sleeping would last forever, and that I never had to awaken from my dream world. Because you know what-- I'm happy there.. And I'm unhappy in real life. The only things that make me happy are Michael (mi amor miguel) and my friends. I am not happy at home, and I am not happy in school.
The reason I am not happy at home are as followed..
1. How could anyone be happy about being told you're the worst daughter in the world; that you are a bitch, a horrible person. How can you be happy in hell? This is a hell to me, not a home. This place I live in.. Where I sleep, this house.. Is just that. It's a house, not my home. It's a place where I spend my days when I have nothing better to do. I cannot escape this hell I live in, I can only pretend.
2. There is always fighting. Everyday for the past 5 years there has never been just one single day without a fight. Either it be during the day or during the night.. There is always a fight in this hell. Between mother and I. And I just can't take anymore. Sadly, I am more mature than my mother-- and I can't be the adult anymore. I'm tired of being the adult and trying to fix things; when nothing ever works. For once I want to be my age, a 17 year old girl and just being fucking happy. But I can't... Because my mother and I are always fighting, and it's so painful for me to be here anymore.
I cannot runaway; because I love my grandma and she loves me. And I could never hurt her. Though I wish I could just run away from this hell, I can't. Because I'm so tired of pretending to be happy. Pretending takes so much out of you... I can't do it anymore. I just can't.
Now, another fact.. I wish to be dead. I think everything will be easier this way. Because if I were to die, either by suicide, some freak accident, or natural things would be easier for me. Last night; I pondered this for so long, that I made mi amor Miguel cry because I was talking so horribly about ending it all. I never want to hurt Miguel or my friends.. But no one understands how depressed I am.
I wish this to be the end of these painful 5 years of my life. That just seem to get harder and harder. These emotional scars never heal.. My family is broken.. I'm crying, as I write this write now. Because my grandmother is trying to fix thing between my mother and I and she cried.. Because she feels so horrible that my mother and I aren't speaking. I have never seen my grandmother cry in all my life; all 17 years she has been the strongest person I have ever known, and today she cried. Just now she cried because of my mother and I not speaking.
And right now, the one strong question that runs through my head is : Is this the end for me? |
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| 11:41am 04/03/2005 |
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To everyone:
I have a school based website where we shall be talking with Sri Lanka and other students. If you would like to join here is the url: www.xanga.com/nations_united =) thanks for your support and help!! |
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| God, I love him |
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| 06:01pm 22/02/2005 |
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mood:  crazy music: none
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He makes everything better... :) |
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| Stolen from lilcreep |
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| 12:58pm 03/02/2005 |
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Follow the instructions to get your very own name =)
Use the third letter of your first name to determine your New first name:
( Clicky here! )
I am... Loopy Applenose |
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| 04:42pm 27/01/2005 |
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mood: depressed music: Elvis
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I've had a shitty day.. yesterday I cried.. and now I want to cut.
Forgive me all..
Michael, I love you.. But I hurt you so much.. I hate me.. What is a girl to do? I want you to be happy.. I don't think that I'm doing that for you.. I will never leave you, but I always fear you leaving me... |
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| Another Public Entry |
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| 05:13pm 20/01/2005 |
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Well... I found out who's talking shit.
People that I trusted.
I will never trust them again.
Simple as that.
-Fin- |
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| Public Entry! |
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| 04:09pm 20/01/2005 |
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mood:  RAWR!!!!!!!!!! music: Gwen Stefani~ Hollaback Girl
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DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA! All around there is just bull-shitty drama! How come High School can't go without it!? I'm so FUCKING sick of the rumors, so sick of the shit.
My friend comes up to me after classes and goes "are you talking shit about me"
I get flustered because people know I'd rather tell them to their faces. She tells me that people have been telling her I'm saying that she's dressing like a slut, that she kisses her boyfriend in spite of two people. I was like, seriously, wtf?!
Look people, STOP THE FUCKING DRAMA! This is the second time I've found out people are talking shit about me. I'm so tired of it, because I tell my friends how I feel. I have told this person how I felt about everything, and I never said that she was dressing like a whore-- She has been dressing the same for over some years now. And she doesn't kiss her boyfriend because of spite. She kisses him because she loves him.
Now, for all you drama starters.... FUCK THE HELL OFF! I'm sick of you! All this shit needs to die off, we're not freashies anymore. We're almost in fucking college!
-fin- |
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